My Newly Formed Superiority Complex

So we have spent more than two consecutive weeks in humble Hang Chat and my self-esteem is at an all-time high. Here’s why.
Some of you may be aware of the Thai obsession with attractiveness, and a very specific paragon of beauty that they all value and strive for. This ideal includes fair skin, large eyes, a thin and pointy nose, well-defined cheek bones, straight and shiny hair, and thin legs, just to name a few characteristics. The models that Thai girls look up to tend to be Korean, because they traditionally encompass these characteristics (to a greater degree than Thais). Sadly, plastic surgery is becoming a growing trend among young Thai men and woman who are getting their faces restructured to look ‘Korean.’ Erin and I are most definitely not Korean, but lucky for us, we seem to (surprisingly) encompass some Korean traits! Jackpot! It turns out that beauty is in the eye of the . . .Thai!

On one occasion, towards the beginning of my time here, I was mid-lesson, doing my elaborate ‘song and dance’ of over-pronunciation and word miming, when a young girl looks at me and said, “Teacher, you have beautiful eyes.” “Ummmm, oh well, umm thank-you! You too, I mean . . . ok, well, ummm, back to the lesson,” I stammered while blushing and beaming. I’ve never been one to take a compliment well. Maybe I was under-complimented as a child, (I’ll stop analyzing before Mom gets angry). As embarrassed as I was at this moment, I must admit that it was nice to be complimented so directly and sincerely. Ohhh, haven’t we all been told we’re beautiful by those schmucks at the bars who are trying to take us home with them? But this was a genuine compliment from a young Thai girl who wanted nothing of me, (I don’t submit grades,) only to tell me she liked my blue eyes.

A brief caveat: sometimes the only English word the students know is ‘beautiful,’ so they throw it around like ‘hello.’ “Teacher, beautiful!” Erin and I often hear as we walk to school in the morning. It’s the equivalent of saying ‘hello’ for them. But, I will continue to enjoy these compliments whether they are intentional or not.

Occasionally the compliments are a little odd, due to the language barrier. Apparently in Thai, ‘sexy’ does not have the same connotation that it does in English. Occasionally the students will use the word, although in these cases I completely ignore it and pretend I didn’t hear it. Who do I look like, Mary Kay Letourneau? Sometimes, however, Lun’s brother, Pi Sak, (the undercover police officer) who speaks NO English will greet Erin and myself by giving us two thumbs up, a huge smile, and saying “sexy, sexy!” Creepy? At first, a little bit, but it turns out that I love Pi Sak, and if he wants to tell me I’m sexy, it’s fine! He thinks it’s a synonym of beautiful and it’s one of the only English words he knows. I probably still blush when he says it, but I always give a very sincere “thank you.”

Update to the ‘sexy’ situation: Lun has (since this post was initially written) informed me that I am not sexy. According to Lun, Erin is sexy, very sexy, but I am not. I was floored by this assessment. I of course encouragd her to elaborate. “Emily, I think, very very sweet, cute, and lovely, but not sexy. Erin, sexy.” Neither Erin nor I felt complimented, but smiled and accepted. Way to keep my ego in check, Lun, thank you!

This past weekend, the compliments were taken to the next level by Lun and Pi Annie, our wonderful friend who, along with her husband and mother, own one of our favorite restaurants in town. We had just found out that Annie is preggers! Congratulations Annie! I of course was so excited for her and her husband, although sad that I won’t be here to welcome the arrival of the little one, (I’m having baby withdrawals, as the majority of my waking hours were spent with babies back in Boston, and now I’m surrounded by pubescent teens, ugh).

Annie started up with the flattery, even more than usual, as she discussed her hopes for her little bun in the oven. Lun translated as Annie said “I want my baby to be like you. I will look at you two all the time so that my baby can look like you. Nice skin, beautiful!!!” Oh Annie, judging by the look of you and your husband, your baby will not look anything like Erin or me. Then things got taken to the next level. Erin and I were sipping our chaou minaus (iced lemon tea) enjoying the beautiful day and the company of Lun and Annie, when the girls suddenly began jabbering away. Then Lun was staring at our faces. “What is it Lun,” I said. “We think you have beautiful eyebrows, very thin” she said. We of course thanked her and explained that we pluck the occasional stray hair. “OHHHHHH, hurts!” she responded. Our beauty comes with a price, Lun. I then said to her, that her eyebrows are very nice too! Let’s face it, Asian people are not exactly known for being hairy! Her eyebrows looked just fine to me! “Ohhhhhh nooooo, too thin!” It turns out that poor Lun has minimal self-esteem. 3 minutes passed and Erin and I continued to sip our tea. Annie and Lun jabber jabber jabbered. “What, Lun?” “I think beautiful teeth! Very beautiful, so straight!” We thanked her and explained that we both had braces for 2 years apiece. “Ohhhhhhh very expensive, I think!!!” she responded. Yes Lun, very very very expensive. Again, it is the price of beauty. Although Lun’s appraisal of our beauty may have been diminished just a bit with these new bits of information (plucking, braces, oh my!) she remained persistent. Annie and Lun jabber jabber jabbered some more. “Yes, Lun?” “Annie think that every expression you make on your face, very beautiful! Beautiful in every emotion!” This was the breaking point, I really couldn’t take anymore.
Erin and I burst into hysterics. It doesn’t even make sense! A. I'd say I'm average-looking, maybe cute at best. B. I am most certainly not beautiful in every facial expression I make. I mean maybe Gisele Bundchen would fall into this category, but I’m sure even she has her ‘off days.’ Erin then made a ridiculous face and said, “Am I beautiful now?” “STILL BEAUTIFUL!” Lun exclaimed. We threw in the towel, we just couldn’t argue any further. “We will touch your stomach sometimes so that maybe we can pass on our traits to your baby,” Erin informed Annie. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

Since then we have been given some other ridiculous compliments by Lun, and have tried to argue them to no avail.
Lun -“You both wear jeans very beautifully. Good shape!”
Erin – “I can barely button these jeans. I can’t even move right now.”

Lun – “You have very beautiful hands, so small”
Me – “They are midget hands. I look like a child. People make fun of them all the time.”

What is the point of all this? For me, it further reaffirms the idea that as humans we will always desire what we don’t have. I wish I didn’t, er, fill out my jeans quite so much. But for our very petite Thai friend with less, um, assets, a little extra junk in the trunk is a good thing. I’ve always hated my midget hands and yearned for long, delicate fingers. Lun has lovely thin fingers but thinks they are much too long. The Thai girls use whitening lotions on their skin, while American girls are spending hundreds of dollars a year and giving themselves skin cancer at the tanning salon to become ‘Thai-colored.’

Oh, and the other point of this? My self-esteem is at an all time high and although I used to shy away from compliments, and still try to fight Lun when the compliments don’t make sense, I’m getting used to the excessive flattery! When I get back to Beantown, those men at the bars are really going to have to work for my attention.

"You are so beautiful.”

“HA! Is that the best you can do? You’re going to have to get a little more creative than that, Sport. I’ve lived in Thailand!”