Enter, PAUL!

Wow, wow, what a fun-filled weekend we had. A friend of mine from college, Paul, came to visit. He is working for an American company in Hong Kong and we decided that since we were both in Asia we had to get together. It’s such a small continent, right? Since this weekend was Chinese New Year, Paul had Monday and Tuesday off, giving him enough time to make the trip worthwhile. We were determined to make sure he had a great time, as he did have to take a ferry and two planes to get here. We had quite the email chain going to make sure the weekend was full of activities to show Paul the greatness that is Thailand. I think we were successful, right Paul?


The weekend began with a delayed flight that Paul couldn’t inform us of because his phone wasn’t working. We were afraid he was lost but finally heard a tuk-tuk coming down our guest house’s alley, saw a bright white VILLANOVA t-shirt glowing in the dark, and knew it had to be him. We wasted no time, going straight out to show him what Chiang Mai nightlife had to offer. We took him to a part of town with a bunch of open-air bars where university students like to hang out, making us just about the only foreigners. Very authentic. Everyone had pitchers of mixed drinks, of which you could pick from a range of colors. We started off with green, which was tasty, but noticed that most other tables had the brown flavor, so we had to try that next. It only took one sip to realize what a bad idea that was, as an aftertaste of irony blood sunk in (our fingers spell blood in the picture above). Must be a Thai thing.

Friday night was also when Paul introduced us to DJ Earworm’s “mash-up” of the 2009 Top 25 Billboard Hits (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNzrwh2Z2hQ). This DJ takes the top songs from the year and mixes them altogether to make one song. It sounds really cool, so cool that Paul has memorized it by watching it “at least 8 to 9 times a day,” don’t tell his boss. Throughout the weekend he continually praised the “mash-up” and could be found singing his favorite clips through the streets whenever the mood struck. Emily also got her first taste of Paul’s obsession with Villanova. He’s pretty much the head of its fan club. Therefore it was no surprise when we discovered that Paul writes a blog for the business school about working abroad. He’s not as free to share as we are, though, since his has an editor. The running joke of the weekend centered on trying to guess if the things we did or pictures we took would pass the edit of Paul’s blog. First, we would take a picture holding our drinks, then without to make it blog appropriate. Paul was also introduced to song-taos, the pick-up truck taxis that take you anywhere in town for under $1. He was supposedly told by a friend that had been to Thailand that people often ride on the roofs, although Emily and I have never seen this. We never let him try the roof but he did insist on getting some pictures hanging off the back while Emily yelled, “You better be hanging on tight. You’re making me very nervous!”

Friday night made Saturday morning’s early wake-up a bit painful, but it was time for Flight of the Gibbon. Anyone who has ever been to Chiang Mai, no matter how short their stay, has heard of it. Huge billboards, posters, stickers, and brochures can be found everywhere around the city. It’s Thailand’s longest and highest zip-line course that got its name because you act like a gibbon when you fly from tree to tree. Since we had been bombarded by so many advertisements over the past couple months and this was our last trip to Chiang Mai, we just had to see what all the hype was about. The course is set up in a jungle about an hour outside the city. There were 10 zip-lines and each was different. Some you rode alone, while others you could go in groups (yes, Paul, Emily, and I all went across together); most required you to be caught by an employee at the other side, while one gave you the option to fly into a net and climb your way to the ending platform; and a couple were vertical lines, dropping you down long ropes like a firefighter on a pole. Overall, it was a great day. The staff was extremely friendly and, more importantly, Emily was impressed by how attractive they all were. As she put it, "Happy Valentine's Day to me!" We had to fill out exit surveys and in the suggestion section, as a joke, Emily wrote: “Come to Hang Chat” along with her number. If you are wondering, “Ken” did in fact call. You would think that zip-lining in a Thai jungle would be the highlight of our day, but the van ride home may have won. The three of us sat in the back row and quickly discovered that the seats fully reclined. As we were over-tired, or overexcited from interaction with the Flight of the Gibbon “models” in Emily’s case, we found this extremely exciting. We spent the ride annoying the other passengers by singing songs from our youth, and of course the 2009 mash-up, in full recline position.

Even after some rest, our energy levels were pretty low on Saturday night. Well, maybe not Paul. We went to a nice restaurant on the river for dinner, where a live band played hilariously unexpected American hits. We always hear “I’m Yours” but “Good Girls Go Bad” and “Tik Tok,” really Thailand? We like! We tried again with another mixed drink pitcher, but only to fail once more as this one tasted like mint toothpaste. We decided that this was still better than blood, though. Then, we headed to the farang section of town to go out. We ended up at a reggae bar where we seemed to be crashing a reunion of all the weirdest people alive. Let’s just say we were the most normal people there, BY FAR! We realized we had to get out of there when Emily said, “Guys, we had more fun in the van today than we are having right now.” That and Paul trying to yell over the music, “Can we go somewhere more fun,” just as the song ended, making it so everyone could hear him.

Sunday we got up early to go watting with Paul. As you know, Emily and I are over wats, but luckily we found a street on the map that had 3 wats all within walking distance. Bam, bam, bam, done! Next, we forced Paul to get a Thai massage, which is just as important to a visit to Thailand as the wats, in our opinion (and they cost less than $5). Thai massages are pretty rough, especially if you aren’t very flexible. Little Thai women push your limbs to the limit while climbing all over you, torturing you at every turn. Paul didn’t know what he was in for, but we told him he had to get one…we are so cruel. Then it was off to the Ping River for a boat cruise. At one point we stopped at a farmer’s house to enjoy some Thai fruit. We were told that parts of Rambo 4 were taped there in a weird museum that was attached. We are still trying to decide if it was a good lie since no one has actually seen Rambo 4 or if it had to be true because the place and movie were both too random to make up. After the boat ride we did our quickest chotch buying to date. We “cut to the chotch”. Get it? Not funny? Paul is unfortunately not as big a chotch lover as we are. We encouraged him to buy lots of weird and unnecessary things, but he was able to hold himself back. He did end up with a little painted lamp for his apartment though, because it’s humanly impossible to leave a chotch fair empty-handed. This just in: he has admitted to buying more chotch when he was alone before he went to the airport.

Then, it was off to Hang Chat. Paul got to experience his first ride on a motorbike, with me at the helm, from the bus stop to the Jungle House. On the ride, Mr. Positive had one of his many great quotes saying, “I will never forget this moment…riding on the back of a motorbike through this little town in Thailand as the sun is setting.” You’re so darn appreciative, Paul! We had big plans for Paul’s one night in Hang Chat, but for some weird reason everything was closed. First, our favorite cook, Lung Dang, had to close his shop because his sidewalk was being used for a funeral (long story). Then, both the roti and donut stands were closed. We did have some delicious pat gapow, Oreo shakes, and many laughs instead, though. The Oreo shakes were bigger than usual and may have caused a sugar high because we had quite the amount of energy when we arrived home. We set Paul up in the hallway between our rooms with two big blankets, although its still a hardwood floor, ouch. Then we broke out our Thai dice game, some chips and salsa, and some top 40 tunes and had ourselves one ridiculous slumber party.

Emily awoke at 6:45 the next morning to a cheerful “Good Morning!” coming from the hallway. Paul was obviously already awake and excited for his trip to school. The students were also excited to see him, a boy farang! It seemed to be every student’s goal to figure out whose boyfriend Paul was, even though he is neither of ours. To them it made no sense why he would come all the way to Thailand, on Valentine’s weekend, just to visit friends. Too bad I can’t say “he didn’t come all the way from America and it’s also Chinese New Year weekend” in Thai. “Kru Erin, is Paul your Valentine?” one of the students asked me. “No, we are just friends.” “Ok, then Kru Emily?” Then, a boy in another class kept making eye contact with me and putting his two fingers together, his way of asking “Are you two together?” without having to speak English…how creative! They were very frustrated that they weren’t able to get one of us to admit it, but they still loved Paul. He helped in both of our classes, at one point making a list of the “top 5 things he would bring to a deserted island” to which he included spiced rum, making him an instant hit with grade 12. Aside from teaching, Paul also spent the day breaking our computers by downloading all of his favorite YouTube videos…including the almighty mash-up, obviously. Paul loved his day playing teacher. At one point as he was leaning over the railing taking pictures outside he said, “I’m thinking about changing careers…this is heaven!” As he was taking the pictures the students outside were supposed to be in class but were instead using the fountains to have water fights and practicing muay-thai boxing on each other….what little angels!

Farewell dinner was with Pan and Poon. Pan thought that Paul’s name was Pon and called him that all night. She also told him that he looked Chinese and was “a different farang.” Everything turned out pretty tasty except one dish Paul ordered that was translated on the menu as “fried shrimp with peppers and peanuts.” The translation was definitely iffy as it ended up being an entire plate filled with raw onions, chili peppers, ginger, lemon wedges, herbs, and then in the middle a little pile of mini shrimps that Paul couldn’t even pretend to like. Then, for dessert we asked if they had ice cream and got the response, “No, but we have pineapple cheese.” You have what? And how is that a substitute for ice cream? Of course we ordered it anyway and ended up with 20 pieces of pineapple, each with a little square of American cheese (the kind in the plastic wrap) and a gummy on top, all held together with a little flag toothpick. At the end I had 9 flags on my plate while Paul had only 8…winner! Emily, Pan, and Poon all chocked down 1 each…lame!

As Emily and I have turned into grandmas here in Thailand, with our bedtimes of 9 PM on weekdays, and if we’re feeling really crazy, 11:30 PM on weekends (that is, if we’re traveling), Paul put a real jolt in our considerably calm and restful Thai lives. But in a good way, of course! It was great to see a familiar face, and an always smiling one at that, and to have another to add to our usual two-person weekend honeymoons. I probably haven’t laughed more in one weekend than I did this past one. I will close with what was probably Paul’s best quote: “I keep trying to pick out a highlight from this weekend, but the whole experience has been one big highlight.” Gotta love him!